Disordered

To think that something as simple as making breakfast could so quickly become a facet of my disorder. My dad only ever eats bacon and eggs for breakfast, my brother and my mum aren't terribly fussy but now that I have been making it for so long it has just become another obstacle in my day.

If the eggs are over cooked, if they don't look pretty, then it's a bad day. If someone else tries to cook breakfast and makes it for me, it's a bad day. If something doesn't turn out exactly how I want it to, then it's a bad day. Pathetic. How do people even work like that? I would like to believe that each day is made up of both good and bad events but in reality, if certain small yet unfortunate things occur (like above example), then as if someone has turned off the lights, my day becomes completely dark and is classified as 'bad.'

For the rest of the week there are so many events that people have organised that are freaking me out. How do I avoid them? If I have to go then how to I avoid certain elements? This is probably why isolation is a common attribute of many disorders. There is both anxiety and secrecy surrounding them, and engaging with people only stimulates those feelings.

From,
Dorcha Aingeal