Nothing much has really happened recently, other than the realisation that I'm not quite capable of achieving the final outcome that I want for my senior year but I already had an idea of that at the back of my mind. The days have begun to blend together, going by just a little to quickly for my liking but that was also to be expected.
I had a cross country in my school recently and once again made the team. Its odd to think that although everyone who seems to suffer from EDs are all different, there are many common characteristics in us. One of my old psychologists went through the list of many common traits displayed in anorexia sufferers and one of those was that they were often very good at distance running. Probably a mixture of both willpower and the amount of overexercise. She said that bulimics are commonly promiscuous and during that time I was. I went out a lot, probably to fill that feeling that something was missing.
Even though these things are very stereotypical its always interesting to see the differences and similarities that tell us whether or not we're the 'only one.' It blurs the line between whether your actions are yours or your illness, and it makes you question who you could possibly be.
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
Saturday 25 April 2015
Thursday 16 April 2015
Memory Lane
Today after a week of wasted self despair and isolation, I finally got over myself and decided to go out. Leaving the house voluntarily seems to be some kind of momentous occasion for me as it doesn't happen particularly often but nonetheless I was completely sick of myself. I met up with J and D, my usual hang out group because they were already planning to go out and had once again invited me along.
What I didn't expect was that I would encounter someone who I hadn't seen in years, one of my old primary school friends. Apparently J and D had arranged to meet L because they hadn't seen her in ages, which we haven't. To say the least it was a pretty alright day with no major hiccups and J and I once again being crowned the Pirate Masters (arcade game). Its interesting to see how L had changed so much yet remained the same in her core, it makes me wonder about myself and everyone else that I used to know.
How much can a person change?
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
What I didn't expect was that I would encounter someone who I hadn't seen in years, one of my old primary school friends. Apparently J and D had arranged to meet L because they hadn't seen her in ages, which we haven't. To say the least it was a pretty alright day with no major hiccups and J and I once again being crowned the Pirate Masters (arcade game). Its interesting to see how L had changed so much yet remained the same in her core, it makes me wonder about myself and everyone else that I used to know.
How much can a person change?
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
Wednesday 15 April 2015
The Art of Normalcy
I went to a friend's combined birthday party the other day and quite frankly it didn't go too badly. It was a movie followed by a dinner at a restaurant but now I have the supposed of my friend J so we were able to get through it. It was nice to say the least, because the group I sit with is quite large so outings together happen on very rare occasions. Afterwards I slept over at J's house, and by slept I mean stayed awake the entire time doing nothing of real consequence other than gaming and chatting.
The next day we wandered around and encountered an arcade, it felt oddly like a date and it makes me wonder if I could be falling for her.
The past few days haven't been that great with episodes of chaos but other than that they have been alright.
I hope you guys are doing alright.
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
The next day we wandered around and encountered an arcade, it felt oddly like a date and it makes me wonder if I could be falling for her.
The past few days haven't been that great with episodes of chaos but other than that they have been alright.
I hope you guys are doing alright.
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
Thursday 9 April 2015
Timebomb
That's what she called me, 'ticking time bomb' because she had to be careful around me just in case I exploded. The very person who I have been creeping around for years is scared of me. What is wrong with me? Have I become such a monster that the one person who I used to see as terrifying is afraid of me. I don't feel like I've changed, no one else says that I have so how come she is the only one who said this? I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the times I have failed you so completely that you probably wanted to disown me. If I can't even look at myself, how could I possibly expect anyone else too?
Reckless, that's how I feel, numb to my own moral judgements. Summed up in words I only heard last night as 'a walking contradiction,' I don't want anyone to worry about my self destruction, I don't want anyone see me disappear completely. But I want someone, anyone to notice, to see that I'm not okay just because I make myself seem so strong. Isn't it completely obvious that there is something that isn't right? I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
I'm so sorry.
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
Reckless, that's how I feel, numb to my own moral judgements. Summed up in words I only heard last night as 'a walking contradiction,' I don't want anyone to worry about my self destruction, I don't want anyone see me disappear completely. But I want someone, anyone to notice, to see that I'm not okay just because I make myself seem so strong. Isn't it completely obvious that there is something that isn't right? I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
I'm so sorry.
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
Monday 6 April 2015
Secrecy
It is a theme that seems to blanket my house, it runs in my blood. To the outside world we are a perfect family, a family with two parents who are happily married, a son and a daughter who do well in school and sport and they even have a pet dog. Nothing could be further from the truth, isn't it true that everyone wears a mask? If this was a fairy tale, the fact that we live in a house hidden away in the woods generally signifies that we have something to hide. And we do.
Everyone in this house is smothering themselves in their own hypocrisy, myself included. Maybe it is because of our secrets that we isolate ourselves from each other, we can go days without having a conversation with the very people we live with. Maybe its because of our isolation that we have so many secrets, if anyone even bothered to look at one another they would be able to see so many things that are happening.
But none of that happens and we all go on living our fairy tale lives.
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
Everyone in this house is smothering themselves in their own hypocrisy, myself included. Maybe it is because of our secrets that we isolate ourselves from each other, we can go days without having a conversation with the very people we live with. Maybe its because of our isolation that we have so many secrets, if anyone even bothered to look at one another they would be able to see so many things that are happening.
But none of that happens and we all go on living our fairy tale lives.
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
Sunday 5 April 2015
Easter, oh the joy
Well that ended badly, my throat is killing me, I feel as guilty as I ever have and I'm ready to jump off a cliff about now. Why is life so difficult? Actually it's not the normally conceived hard or difficult things that I have trouble with. Assignments? No problem. Work? Sure. It's the simple things that never cease to defeat me, the things that should be easy are the very things I never seem to be able to achieve. Sleep? I don't even know the meaning of the word. Food? Let's not even talk about that. People? N/A Error has been reached.
I just want to be able to go through a day where people don't make things harder, where I don't make things harder. No secrecy, no discussing these topics, just an average day where my life doesn't involve some inner conflict, that is all I want.
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
I just want to be able to go through a day where people don't make things harder, where I don't make things harder. No secrecy, no discussing these topics, just an average day where my life doesn't involve some inner conflict, that is all I want.
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
Saturday 4 April 2015
Disordered
To think that something as simple as making breakfast could so quickly become a facet of my disorder. My dad only ever eats bacon and eggs for breakfast, my brother and my mum aren't terribly fussy but now that I have been making it for so long it has just become another obstacle in my day.
If the eggs are over cooked, if they don't look pretty, then it's a bad day. If someone else tries to cook breakfast and makes it for me, it's a bad day. If something doesn't turn out exactly how I want it to, then it's a bad day. Pathetic. How do people even work like that? I would like to believe that each day is made up of both good and bad events but in reality, if certain small yet unfortunate things occur (like above example), then as if someone has turned off the lights, my day becomes completely dark and is classified as 'bad.'
For the rest of the week there are so many events that people have organised that are freaking me out. How do I avoid them? If I have to go then how to I avoid certain elements? This is probably why isolation is a common attribute of many disorders. There is both anxiety and secrecy surrounding them, and engaging with people only stimulates those feelings.
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
If the eggs are over cooked, if they don't look pretty, then it's a bad day. If someone else tries to cook breakfast and makes it for me, it's a bad day. If something doesn't turn out exactly how I want it to, then it's a bad day. Pathetic. How do people even work like that? I would like to believe that each day is made up of both good and bad events but in reality, if certain small yet unfortunate things occur (like above example), then as if someone has turned off the lights, my day becomes completely dark and is classified as 'bad.'
For the rest of the week there are so many events that people have organised that are freaking me out. How do I avoid them? If I have to go then how to I avoid certain elements? This is probably why isolation is a common attribute of many disorders. There is both anxiety and secrecy surrounding them, and engaging with people only stimulates those feelings.
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
Monday 30 March 2015
Stressed or Depressed
I am fully aware of my emotionally instability at present but I guess I never fully evaluated my entire mental state until my dad asked me, 'Are you depressed?'
I have never actually suffered from depression as a disorder, although I have had other that often count it as a symptom. Am I depressed? I thought it was just stress because I have exams, but would anyone who was just stressed be avoiding life like its the plague? Sure I've been sleeping more, but isn't that a good thing? I guess sleep isn't supposed to make you more tired. I guess food isn't supposed to make you sick. I guess people aren't supposed to make you more lonely.
Oh the joys of teenage angst,
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
(Good night)
I have never actually suffered from depression as a disorder, although I have had other that often count it as a symptom. Am I depressed? I thought it was just stress because I have exams, but would anyone who was just stressed be avoiding life like its the plague? Sure I've been sleeping more, but isn't that a good thing? I guess sleep isn't supposed to make you more tired. I guess food isn't supposed to make you sick. I guess people aren't supposed to make you more lonely.
Oh the joys of teenage angst,
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
(Good night)
Sunday 29 March 2015
Stress
If I can't even fully cope with my exams, then I can't quite comprehend how I am supposed to even think about food, let alone any semblance of mental stability. How do people juggle those kinds of things? I've completed all of my work load but as soon as its done I have no memory of how to do any of it and so the stress sets in. I almost crashed twice today, and that is why they advise that you only drive when you have a cleared mind. Normally sleep is hard to achieve, but I believe that I've slept more in the past couple of days than I usually would in over a month. Caffeine? Five cups of coffee and I could still collapse with little effort. As demonstrated by my five hours in the middle of the day today.
I don't want this year to end because that would mean that I would actually have to plan for the future but at the same time, I don't want to have to deal with any of this anymore.
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
Saturday 28 March 2015
The Complexities of Obsession
I find that a particular influence that has rubbed off on me from my friends some particular fandoms I have picked up. Maybe these have been somewhat dramatised due to my lack of a strong internet connection, preventing me from keeping up with many things, so when I do get to watch new released MV's and Comebacks it feels like a big deal. It is also a great stress reliever to use a particular obsession as an outlet or escape from the world.
After the recent departure of Zayn from One Direction I thought I would write about the effect the departure of different idols and celebrities that I personally like, seem to have had on me or the people around me.
I believe I have an insight into a variety of genres of music ranging from English music genres to Korean and Japanese music styles. These include things like Fall Out Boy, Hollywood Undead, Taylor Swift, Mayday Parade, Debussy and many others. But the focus for this post will be the more Eastern side of music with groups such as Vixx, Bts, Exo and Nu'est.
My experience with the majority of society is that Asian music is generally experienced as a kind of 'hit or miss' subject, people either like it, or they don't. Of course there has always been those one hit wonders like Gangnam Style but as a whole, Kpop fans are pretty much a community of their own. In my school it is a bit of a stigma to like this genre of music because people have a certain impression of it while I appreciate it due to the fact that each group seems to have the freedom to perform a wide range of genres and topics rather than sticking to one. This is where we focus on two particular groups, Exo and Nu'est.
Exo seems to have a major fandom in the Kpop industry, I have chosen to focus on them because of this fact as well as the fairly recent loss of two of their members. Sure, it was not experienced by much of the Western world but it had a similar impact on the fans who have tried to cope with this. There are many articles about how Exo fans (Exotics or Exo L's, take your pick) have taken their obsession too far whether it be in money spending or their outlets which in some cases have been deadly (Kpop stars are called idols for a reason) but Exo still remains a much loved group.
With their upcoming Comeback with only 10 members I have experienced my own share of mood fluctuations over teasers and news. In the passed they have debuted with supernatural themes (MAMA and History) which launched them into the music industry followed by other big songs like Wolf, Growl and Overdose. It will be interesting to see their new releases.
Following Exo I have decided to talk about Nu'est, a group that experienced a big debut and has since faded off a lot of people's radars (from what I have seen). For some reason this group has always held a special place in my heart. I have chosen them to be an example of some of the major changes in themes and genres of groups in the Kpop industry. For one thing, they have a member who looks particularly feminine, one who has a big concern with body image (in Korean society physical appearance is a huge thing), one who has had to overcome cultural divides and language issues. As well as this, their (biggest?) song, 'Face' had a lot meaning featuring fighting back against bullying and standing up for yourself.
They have gone through 'cutesy' images in Not Over You to darker images such as 'Good Bye Bye' which seem laced with intricate meanings (One Interpretation).
I feel like many people feel so connected to Kpop because, while Western celebrities are held up on a higher platform, they are a lot more 'reachable' because they went to normal high schools, auditioned specifically for the industry and so much of their lives are always on display.
So as you can see this is just one person's insight into their own complex obsession with a specific genre of music.
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
After the recent departure of Zayn from One Direction I thought I would write about the effect the departure of different idols and celebrities that I personally like, seem to have had on me or the people around me.
I believe I have an insight into a variety of genres of music ranging from English music genres to Korean and Japanese music styles. These include things like Fall Out Boy, Hollywood Undead, Taylor Swift, Mayday Parade, Debussy and many others. But the focus for this post will be the more Eastern side of music with groups such as Vixx, Bts, Exo and Nu'est.
My experience with the majority of society is that Asian music is generally experienced as a kind of 'hit or miss' subject, people either like it, or they don't. Of course there has always been those one hit wonders like Gangnam Style but as a whole, Kpop fans are pretty much a community of their own. In my school it is a bit of a stigma to like this genre of music because people have a certain impression of it while I appreciate it due to the fact that each group seems to have the freedom to perform a wide range of genres and topics rather than sticking to one. This is where we focus on two particular groups, Exo and Nu'est.
Exo seems to have a major fandom in the Kpop industry, I have chosen to focus on them because of this fact as well as the fairly recent loss of two of their members. Sure, it was not experienced by much of the Western world but it had a similar impact on the fans who have tried to cope with this. There are many articles about how Exo fans (Exotics or Exo L's, take your pick) have taken their obsession too far whether it be in money spending or their outlets which in some cases have been deadly (Kpop stars are called idols for a reason) but Exo still remains a much loved group.
With their upcoming Comeback with only 10 members I have experienced my own share of mood fluctuations over teasers and news. In the passed they have debuted with supernatural themes (MAMA and History) which launched them into the music industry followed by other big songs like Wolf, Growl and Overdose. It will be interesting to see their new releases.
Following Exo I have decided to talk about Nu'est, a group that experienced a big debut and has since faded off a lot of people's radars (from what I have seen). For some reason this group has always held a special place in my heart. I have chosen them to be an example of some of the major changes in themes and genres of groups in the Kpop industry. For one thing, they have a member who looks particularly feminine, one who has a big concern with body image (in Korean society physical appearance is a huge thing), one who has had to overcome cultural divides and language issues. As well as this, their (biggest?) song, 'Face' had a lot meaning featuring fighting back against bullying and standing up for yourself.
They have gone through 'cutesy' images in Not Over You to darker images such as 'Good Bye Bye' which seem laced with intricate meanings (One Interpretation).
I feel like many people feel so connected to Kpop because, while Western celebrities are held up on a higher platform, they are a lot more 'reachable' because they went to normal high schools, auditioned specifically for the industry and so much of their lives are always on display.
So as you can see this is just one person's insight into their own complex obsession with a specific genre of music.
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
Friday 27 March 2015
Eat My Fairydust
Is something I saw on the back of a car today, but I wasn't fast enough to take a picture. To say the least, I have no idea why I found it funny but I guess today was just an interesting day. For one thing I think I did well on an exam for the first time in a very long time, I have yet to see my results but I know that I passed.
Next, introducing J and D. J and D are two people I consider the closest things I have to friends, J is a girl who happens to have a certain obsession with a certain band (lets just say that if anyone I knew read this and the band connected they would immediately knew who she was). She is probably the bitchiest and most sarcastic person I know but in reality she is a child at heart, just not many people get to see that side. Heavily opinionated with a healthy dose of hair dye and piercings it has always been an honour of mine to be counted among the few people she actually likes.
Enter D, D has the physical form of a girl but he is really just a boy trapped in the wrong gender. Often making jokes about his sexual orientation of loving Pans and pots, he probably has the biggest heart I have ever witnessed, he's one of those people whose special talent in seeing the good in everyone except themselves. D is the proud owner of many jerseys, jumpers and oversized shirts as well as a collection of Doc Martens, he is the giant to my midget height.
And it is with these two great individuals that I spent the more interesting part of my day. This particular day consisted of making a tower from the corpses of Frozen Coke cups and straws (i.e J's tendency to pulls things to pieces, and my tendency to make odds things). I was also the subject of a marriage proposal with the use of a 2 dollar ring (people have then tendency to think J and D are dating, but in reality J is a straight as a straw, deceptively sturdy but actually very bendy) which I graciously accepted. This was followed by the discovery of the Magical Flashy Glitter Bouncy Balls of Destiny (J is 3 and enjoys being distracted by sparkles and cute things) which we promptly purchased and began making a nuisance of ourselves.
That is the story of my probably boring to read about day.
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
(J is hot)
Next, introducing J and D. J and D are two people I consider the closest things I have to friends, J is a girl who happens to have a certain obsession with a certain band (lets just say that if anyone I knew read this and the band connected they would immediately knew who she was). She is probably the bitchiest and most sarcastic person I know but in reality she is a child at heart, just not many people get to see that side. Heavily opinionated with a healthy dose of hair dye and piercings it has always been an honour of mine to be counted among the few people she actually likes.
Enter D, D has the physical form of a girl but he is really just a boy trapped in the wrong gender. Often making jokes about his sexual orientation of loving Pans and pots, he probably has the biggest heart I have ever witnessed, he's one of those people whose special talent in seeing the good in everyone except themselves. D is the proud owner of many jerseys, jumpers and oversized shirts as well as a collection of Doc Martens, he is the giant to my midget height.
And it is with these two great individuals that I spent the more interesting part of my day. This particular day consisted of making a tower from the corpses of Frozen Coke cups and straws (i.e J's tendency to pulls things to pieces, and my tendency to make odds things). I was also the subject of a marriage proposal with the use of a 2 dollar ring (people have then tendency to think J and D are dating, but in reality J is a straight as a straw, deceptively sturdy but actually very bendy) which I graciously accepted. This was followed by the discovery of the Magical Flashy Glitter Bouncy Balls of Destiny (J is 3 and enjoys being distracted by sparkles and cute things) which we promptly purchased and began making a nuisance of ourselves.
That is the story of my probably boring to read about day.
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
(J is hot)
Thursday 26 March 2015
Passing Away
Today I heard that someone who I used to go to primary school with, has passed away. It was a suicide. Its kind of weird to think that someone who I used to be so close to is gone, we used to live near each other and we would hang out frequently. That all stopped when she moved away and we both went to separate high schools, sometimes I wanted to talk to her, I missed the friendship we used to have and I now I know that we will never be close again.
I only heard about it in passing, by accident because someone went to her funeral, I don't know any of the details but everytime someone dies it hurts just the same. I wonder what was going on, what happened to the girl I used to know? My mum always tried to stop us hanging out because she was always loud and had a colourful vocabulary that adults always hated, but it made everything we did so fun. Wherever she is (since I don't really have any views on the afterlife) I hope its somewhere that she would want to be.
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
I only heard about it in passing, by accident because someone went to her funeral, I don't know any of the details but everytime someone dies it hurts just the same. I wonder what was going on, what happened to the girl I used to know? My mum always tried to stop us hanging out because she was always loud and had a colourful vocabulary that adults always hated, but it made everything we did so fun. Wherever she is (since I don't really have any views on the afterlife) I hope its somewhere that she would want to be.
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
Tuesday 24 March 2015
Sleepless
Sleeping, something to pass the time perhaps? Its funny that no matter how awake I feel at night, I always feel like death during the day. Caffeine is a great gift to humanity, how do people function without it?
I am that irritating person who has the sudden urge to contact my friends particularly early in the morning (i.e 2am anyone?) with little regard for the consequences of such actions until I am greeted by glares the next day. Since I very rarely have friends or people I do anything more than sit with (partially because that requires actual human interaction), I spend my days sleeping in the library or in my rental room (place where no one else hangs out and it has aircon). So my day fluctuates from incredibly awake when I want to sleep, and incredibly porridge-like when I want to be a contributing member of society.
Why does the human brain think that operating on a nocturnal schedule is a good idea? That is a very good question.
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
I am that irritating person who has the sudden urge to contact my friends particularly early in the morning (i.e 2am anyone?) with little regard for the consequences of such actions until I am greeted by glares the next day. Since I very rarely have friends or people I do anything more than sit with (partially because that requires actual human interaction), I spend my days sleeping in the library or in my rental room (place where no one else hangs out and it has aircon). So my day fluctuates from incredibly awake when I want to sleep, and incredibly porridge-like when I want to be a contributing member of society.
Why does the human brain think that operating on a nocturnal schedule is a good idea? That is a very good question.
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
The Full Feeling
That feeling of consuming the recommend daily intake for someone of your stature. For over half of my life, I have been avoiding the feeling of moderation and, well, fullness that is supposed to be normal. How people can cope with this feeling daily will always amaze me, how do they do it without the need to purge or work it off, how do they do this every single day?
I promised myself that I would have at least one normal day this weak but already this heavy, distended and completely unnatural feeling is driving me to the edge. Its only at times like these when I actually have and intend to keep a certain amount of food in me that I realize how much I'm governed by my impulses. In reality, I'm only typing to keep myself busy, to stop myself from doing something, anything at all to get rid of this feeling of 'wrongness,' this feeling of being completely uncomfortable.
But that's my goal for today, and I intend to stick with it.
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
I promised myself that I would have at least one normal day this weak but already this heavy, distended and completely unnatural feeling is driving me to the edge. Its only at times like these when I actually have and intend to keep a certain amount of food in me that I realize how much I'm governed by my impulses. In reality, I'm only typing to keep myself busy, to stop myself from doing something, anything at all to get rid of this feeling of 'wrongness,' this feeling of being completely uncomfortable.
But that's my goal for today, and I intend to stick with it.
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
Monday 23 March 2015
I'm not okay, but then, no one's okay
I have some kind of complex where no matter what is happening, I always justify keeping to myself by thinking that everyone around me has so many problems that are worse than mine. That is the truth, but it doesn't really make sense when you spend your days drowning in blood and caffeine simply trying to function as a normal human being.
My relationship with food sucks, but as a teenage girl, isn't that almost considered normal by society? Everyone almost seems to regard it as a phase that everyone goes through at some point during their youth. I didn't know I would be throwing up four times a day, losing my voice and harboring an immense self hatred would last for over eight years of my life. I love to believe that moderation is a possibility, but day after day, that believe is tested and crushed with a strong reenactment of the everything or nothing mindset.
My work ethic sucks, I haven't completed a single day of homework for over a year, and I have never actually failed a subject. I repeatedly drive into my head that maybe studying will suddenly happen and I will actually gain some satisfaction from the end result. It's never happened. Not studying and not the satisfaction. Somehow, I have the belief that doing other people's assignments will make my own disappear. When they ace the subject I'm a left feeling ever so extremely disappointed in the fact that I could have submitted their work as my own, because it is...
As you can see I am a very typical teenager who has a fairly normal lack of motivation and seems to fail at life. My life sucks, but doesn't everyone's?
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
My relationship with food sucks, but as a teenage girl, isn't that almost considered normal by society? Everyone almost seems to regard it as a phase that everyone goes through at some point during their youth. I didn't know I would be throwing up four times a day, losing my voice and harboring an immense self hatred would last for over eight years of my life. I love to believe that moderation is a possibility, but day after day, that believe is tested and crushed with a strong reenactment of the everything or nothing mindset.
My work ethic sucks, I haven't completed a single day of homework for over a year, and I have never actually failed a subject. I repeatedly drive into my head that maybe studying will suddenly happen and I will actually gain some satisfaction from the end result. It's never happened. Not studying and not the satisfaction. Somehow, I have the belief that doing other people's assignments will make my own disappear. When they ace the subject I'm a left feeling ever so extremely disappointed in the fact that I could have submitted their work as my own, because it is...
As you can see I am a very typical teenager who has a fairly normal lack of motivation and seems to fail at life. My life sucks, but doesn't everyone's?
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
A not so new beginning
I felt like I needed a new start, so here it is. I'm still Dorcha Aingeal but I intend for this to be almost a journal rather than something I posted in once every month or year when I needed an outlet. I feel like I need a context and I think this will give me one.
I'm not going to do an introduction because I think, if I stick to this, then who I am will become pretty evident. I'm not necessarily a likeable person, because this is where I intend to be someone who isn't governed by my reality. I don't really know who I am, in fact, I'm going through a bit of an identity crisis and I don't have anyone who I can ask, talk to, consult because my one main talent remains my ability to completely isolate myself from anyone who could possibly get close to me.
Nice to meet you.
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
I'm not going to do an introduction because I think, if I stick to this, then who I am will become pretty evident. I'm not necessarily a likeable person, because this is where I intend to be someone who isn't governed by my reality. I don't really know who I am, in fact, I'm going through a bit of an identity crisis and I don't have anyone who I can ask, talk to, consult because my one main talent remains my ability to completely isolate myself from anyone who could possibly get close to me.
Nice to meet you.
From,
Dorcha Aingeal
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